Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Be Okay

31 days of girl growing up

Have you ever had that feeling where you feel like the best you can do is simply stay afloat? Because I feel like that right now. For the past few weeks, I've been trying to get my SuperGirl on, but something snapped in me this past week, more specifically, the past day or two, and I've felt the opposite of invincible. Everything seemed like my kryptonite: junk food, negative thoughts, and especially schoolwork... Yuck!
Ya feel me? 
Ya feel me?

I feel like I should start at the very beginning, since Maria says it's a very good place to start (sorry, couldn't resist). Rewind to August, when the fall semester started. I started this adorable little post to fill everyone in on my sched:

"I’m taking eighteen credit hours this semester, with six classes. It’s a pretty unique schedule: two of my classes meet for three hours once a week, one meets three and a half hours a week, and three meet twice a week. On top of classes, I’m require to complete forty hours in the schools this semester! Field experience is a big part of becoming a teacher, and they’re making sure us Clemson Early Childhood Education majors get enough of it! I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining, because while it sounds overwhelming typed out, it’s totally doable (so far)! I think my key to staying sane this semester is staying organized, which is why I spent a while yesterday getting syllabi printed and put into protective sheets, organizing binders with dividers, and designating notebooks and folders to certain classes."
Maybe you're wondering why this sounds "adorable." I'll tell ya why: to attempt to put a very long (and when I tell it, dramatic) story short, my sweet advisor (and I'm not being sarcastic, she truly is a wonderful lady) accidentally misadvised me. Towards the end of the add/drop period for classes, I heard there was a mandatory class that I NEEDED to take THIS semester. I panicked, asked my advisor about said class immediately, and she calmed my worries. However, she was kinda sorta wrong about calming my fears. It turns out the class I fretted about was only offered in the fall, and I did need to take it this semester. Solution? Add the course a month into the semester. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I now have five classes from 8 am- 3:15 pm, and I now have fifty hours I need to complete in the schools, outside of class time. Whew.

....My exhausted face (captured in Savannah, of all places) says it all.

If I thought I was complaining in my first little ditty I wrote and never published, I certainly seem like it now! However, I've been doing well.... Up until now. I pretty much mentally crumbled, and now I'm reassessing my "go-go-go" brain. My conclusions:

I actually do thrive on being busy; I just need to make sure I carve out some happy, "me" time. This includes painting my nails (which I've recently grown to love, I think maybe because when my nails are drying, I have an excuse for putting down school work and just hanging out!) and working out (something I fell in love with over the summer but completely abandoned here once things got hectic). This does not include inhaling sugar-laden junk food like it's my job (not like I've been doing that or anything....pshhh!). It's a lot easier to crank out SuperGirl-quality work when I'm feeling good about myself!

As silly as I feel posting this, I also feel like it's important for others to see, too. It's okay to not be okay all the time. However, let's remember that these day-to-day struggles are oh-so-trivial when it comes down to it. I constantly remind myself that God's love is bigger than I can imagine, His plans are better than I can imagine, and the family, friends, and life I'm blessed with are more spectacular than I deserve, so I better soak it all in right now!

Plus, guess what day tomorrow is?!?!


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